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Our Love Book

A story about the love you deserve

When you start to care for yourself, everything begins to change. You don't chase love. You draw it to you.Anna Bertoldi

Read our story Get the free guide «Man of my dreams» practice

Podcast

THE «MAN OF MY DREAMS» PRACTICE 💍

Get comfortable, my dear girls ✨

Today I want to share, with all my heart, the thing you ask me about in DMs almost every week: Anna, how did you actually meet your husband?

A coach once gave me this technique. Honestly, I was very skeptical — you know me, I'm a rational person, I need proof. And still I sat down and did it. Alone, in the evening, with candles, back in a Siberian village where I had no real prospect of meeting anyone at all 🕯

A few months later I met my husband. I was forty-four.

Some of my friends did it too — and a few of them are already married. Girls from the blog have written to me that they met their men.

I can't give you guarantees, I'm not God 🙃 But this technique really helps speed the process up. Why it works — I explain in detail in the podcast; do listen to it before you sit down to write 🎧

The «Man of my dreams» practice

Why the technique works — and how I met my husband after 40. Listen before you sit down to write.

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And here are the steps themselves, so you have something to glance at with your notebook.

What you'll need: a paper notebook, candles, wordless music and an hour of time. Your phone — in another room; it's not our friend today.

WHERE I AM NOW

Describe your life exactly as it is. Who you are, where you go, who you talk to every day, how your morning goes, how your evening ends. And at the end — one honest question: could the man I'm waiting for even turn up in this picture?

THE ME I LIKE

Describe yourself as the woman you want to be. Not flawless — the one you finally recognise as yourself. Write in the present tense: not «I want», but «I live», «I go», «I am». Home, mornings, activities, and what you no longer put up with.

HIM

And now the unexpected part: write from his point of view. As if for a few minutes you became him, and he's telling you about himself. «I wake up…», «What matters to me is…», «I can't stand…» Then underline all the places he spends time — and next to each, honestly write: do I go there, or not?

THE MOST IMPORTANT — WHO I AM BESIDE HIM

This is what I added to the technique myself, and I think it's the strongest part ❤️ We're all brilliant at describing what he should be like. Height, age, character, car. But how does he look at me? Who am I beside him? What do I allow myself beside him that I allow with no one else? What do I stop doing — explaining, justifying, being convenient? A list gives you a candidate. This gives you recognition. We remember perfectly what the right man looks like, and not at all how the right love feels.

THE BRIDGE

Lay all the pages side by side and look: which of the two women — today's, or that other one — fits the man on the third page? And what to do to become her. Not «love yourself», but what to do with your hands, your feet, your calendar.

And two rules, without which all of this stays just a pretty evening with candles:

One small action within the next twenty-four hours. Sign up for that thing you've long wanted to. Change your scent. Refresh your photos. Buy yourself flowers, just because.
And a reminder a month later — reread these pages. That's where it gets really interesting: you'll see that part of it has already come true, and you didn't even notice when ✨

My dears, I so want you to meet your person. The one beside whom you don't have to try or pretend to be someone. Who looks at you in a way that makes you start to like yourself. So that you feel calm, warm and amused — all at once.

And so that you stop thinking it's too late. I was forty-four, a Siberian village and the full feeling that the train had left. It hadn't 💫

Do the practice, and be sure to write and tell me what changed — I'm truly curious.

What this book is

Real love is possible — and it starts with you

This is the story of a Russian woman and an Austrian man who met on Tinder, lived a long distance between two countries, and married when Anna was 45.

And it's a gentle guide for you: about self-love, clarity about what you want, and how to stop settling for less. It's not too late. You're not too much. And you don't have to settle.

Our story

One swipe changed everything

2020

One swipe changed everything

Anna flew to another country for a Tinder date. The first time in person — the moment that split her life into 'before' and 'after'.

2021

Distance & choosing each other

Two countries, two languages, two worlds. Learning to understand each other through words, silence and presence — and holding on to what mattered.

2025

Married at 45

A wedding, a move to Vienna, a new quality of life and love. Exactly as she described it in her list — and exactly how it arrived.

Now

Love as a calm harbor

Real love as peace: being able to relax, be yourself, and know you're chosen again and again — every single day.

Four foundations

The principles this love rests on

You come first

Real love isn't possible without love for yourself. When you choose yourself, you stop settling for less.

Clarity of desire

Describe your partner in detail — character, values, how you feel beside him. A clear picture draws the right person.

Boundaries are love

Being able to say 'no' isn't harshness. It's self-respect — and it attracts people worthy of you.

Love is when it's calm

You recognize your person by the ease — by the feeling of 'finally, home'.

What's inside (what we're building and what you'll get)

Nine chapters of one story

Our personal story woven together with practical guidance for you. Anna writes in Russian, Matthias in German — and from that, one story emerges: two viewpoints, and why it works.

Our story

Tinder, the flight, the first meeting, distance, the wedding.

Self-love

Self-love as the foundation. The turning point. Rituals.

III

Conscious choice

The wish list. Not settling. Online dating.

Russia meets Austria

Cultural differences as enrichment. Myths vs reality.

Love in everyday life

Morning rituals, conflict, love as a quiet harbor.

Love knows no age

Love after 40. The gifts of mature love. A word to you.

VII

A new life in Vienna

The move: giving up everything, gaining everything.

VIII

Practical advice

Three tips, red flags, Matthias's male perspective.

Gratitude

Letters to each other, a word to the reader, an invitation to write your own story.

Affirmations

Reread them on the days you doubt

I am worthy of real, deep love.
I choose myself — every day.
My love is calm, steady and joyful.
Love comes to me easily and naturally.
My age is my strength and my wisdom.

It's not too late

The numbers that quietly tell the truth

Love after 40 isn't the exception — it's a trend we just don't talk about enough.

Nearly 40% of couples now meet online — already the most common way people find their partner.
Around 45% of people over 50 are open to new relationships.
Second marriages after 50 often show lower divorce rates.
Mature love after 40: people know themselves better, compromise less on values, build more honest relationships.

♡ Free guide

From Siberia to Vienna — how I found my man online

My personal experience and honest advice: the practice, the platforms, safety, and a checklist you can start today.

From Siberia to Vienna: how I found my man online — PDF · right after you subscribe · no spam

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Two voices

Two sides of one story

This isn't a monologue. Matthias tells his part in German — the male view, the Austrian context, what surprised him about a Russian woman and what made him sure.

Ich habe verstanden: Ruhe ist auch eine Form von Liebe.I understood: peace is also a form of love.Matthias

Anna and Matthias — their wedding day in Vienna

One last thing

Your love story isn't finished yet

Start with yourself. With the list. With clarity. And if you'd like to see my real list — and how one swipe became a wedding and a new life in Vienna — it's all in the book.

Get the free guide